Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Loving Myself as I Am

Well, it's been a week since I decided to do this blog about my journey to a healthier me. I stepped on the scale yesterday morning and it read 401.4 pounds, for a loss of 5.6 pounds. Yay me! Of course, I know not to expect that every week, but it was nice to see. I have gone one week with only one Coke. My first goal is to phase out pop completely. It has been challenging to do because I really like the taste of Coke but it does not really quench my thirst. I find that when I do break down and have one, I still feel thirsty and I crave sugar all the more. It's not that I don't like water. Actually, I do. It's just a matter of changing my habits. I hear that it takes something like 21 days to make something a habit so I'm going to keep plugging away on that one. It is my goal to make it through this week without a pop.

That being said, I am not going to make this journey about deprivation. I am choosing to focus on the positive side of what I am trying to do which is making healthier choices for myself. I do not want to be picked on for what I do or do not put in my mouth. News Flash: that does not help! I am aware that I have many trigger foods that I will have to work on eliminating from my diet if I am going to be free from the strong cravings that occur whenever I put those foods in my mouth. There are things that no matter how hard I try, I cannot eat just one! So, those will have to go. Step by step, I am going to replace those foods with ones that nourish my body and give my body the nutrients it needs.

In addition to making physical changes, I am making spiritual and emotional changes in my lifestyle. I have found that prayer and meditation have helped me to quit drinking and I truly believe that prayer will play a vital role in my ability to handle the changes I am trying t make in my food choices. I have faith that God will give me the strength to care for myself the way He cares for me. I have always had a difficult time loving myself. I cannot even begin to count the number if times I have pledged to start loving myself once I reached 140 pounds. Well, I do not know if I will ever get down to 140 pounds. I cannot focus on that and I can no longer emotionally afford to place such absurd conditions on whether or not I am going to love myself. I am no longer going to wait until I lose weight to love myself and do things that feel good to me. I refuse to continue to see myself as broken. I do not need to be "fixed". I just need to be the woman that God created me to be and to love the body, mind, and soul that He has blessed me with.

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