Saturday, July 8, 2017

At a Crossorads

It's been nearly a month since I've written anything. When I came back to this blog in April, I had wanted to commit to writing an entry a week but I haven't managed to stick to that. Maybe because I only thought that that was what I was going to do. I thought about the commitment, but had not fully, well, committed to it. Then I thought that it was too late now, because after all, I'd already missed several weeks in a row. And then it hit me. It's not too late to begin again.

I'm finding myself at a crossroad in my weight loss journey right now. I have recently gained some weight again and so I'm asking myself just how important am I? I mean, really? Am I important enough to do something about it or not? Do I care  enough about myself to want to make the changes necessary to live a healthier life? I thought that I was but I'm sure not acting like it. It's getting harder and harder to justify eating the Mary Lou donuts and Peanut Buster Parfaits. I don't get any enjoyment out of eating those things anymore but I feel compelled to eat them anyway. I have been using my addiction to food as an excuse to continue eating, rather than as a catalyst for change. I have been allowing myself to believe the myth that I don't know any better. But that is not the truth. I do know better, I just haven't been choosing better.

I am remembering the quote by Maya Angelou: "When you know better, you do better". I am particularly mindful of those last three words, "you do better". Its about taking action. I have to first make the commitment, but then move beyond that and act on it in order to be truly successful. Otherwise, nothing is going to change. I have the opportunity to go on an Alaskan cruise in June of 2018 with my whole family. At my current weight that would be extremely difficult to do. I don't want to miss out on a chance of a lifetime. That is just under a year away. I'm running out of time to "begin again" if I want to achieve my goal of being able to go on that cruise with my family.

So, what am I willing to do? Between now and next Saturday, I will write down what I am eating and share that with a friend who is willing to help to hold me accountable. I will drink 64 ounces of water every day. I will exercise 3 times. I am writing these three things down on a card that I will post in several places in my apartment to help remind me of my action plan for the week. When I do my next blog entry in a week, I will report on how I did with my goals. I am important. This is worth it. I can do it!

1 comment:

  1. I love you so much! I used to try to take life a day at a tine, but was recently advised that you must stop more often to celecrate the good. Now, I try to sop more often. Failing to celebrate that I did not over eat un the morning gurantees that I will overeat in the afternoon. Failing to be thankful that I stayed cheerful in the afternoon guarantees that I will blow up at someone in the evening. When I focus on my mistakes, I feel crappy about myself and give up. Sometimes my goals are just 10 minutes at a time. Yes, seriously. I am holding you in my heart. It is so hard, but the strenghth in your eyes and in your words tells me you will win.