As I'm sitting here, trying to get my mind to turn off so that I can fall asleep, I'm thinking about what kind of person that I want to be moving forward. I have decided that I want to be the person who takes charge of her health and well being, rather than the person who leaves things up to chance and makes poor decisions for herself. I'm so very tired of being dragged down by apathy and self-pity. Neither of those states feel comfortable to me anymore. I'm ready for some changes. I have already started implementing some new practices into my daily routine, including writing down what I am eating and drinking more water. I'm starting to exercise, even though it is very difficult for me to do. I'm taking action on making myself a priority. I no longer want to be the fat girl sitting in the drive through parking lot stuffing French fries into her mouth and gulping down cokes. I don't want to spend all of my spare money on junk food and treats that I eat in seclusion and shame. It's time for me to be the person that God has meant for me to be.
I know that I can do this. I have lost weight before. I have taken care of myself and felt good about it in the past. I want to be able to go to Alaska with my family next summer. So it's really not a question of whether or not I can do this, it's a question of whether or not I'm going to do this. I have to believe that God wants good for me and that He wants me to take care of myself so that I can be a blessing to others. I cannot do that if I'm just sitting around, stuffing my face full of donuts and crying. I'm lucky to have a strong support network available to me if I would just tap into that and allow others to love me. Its time tp move beyond my good intentions and put some work in on being the best me that I can be.